Day Dreaming

Ahhh the sweet smell of the outdoors. I need to go camping. I need to smell the morning air. I am not a fan of the morning however waking up in the woods and smelling the smoke coming from the fire you had going the night before is quite comforting. It is a feeling the one could associate with childhood. The happy blissful, anything could happen mentality. I need to go camping! I need it like a flower needs the sun, or your stomach needs food.  I'm in love with it dare I say! And the sunset don't even get me started on that. I mean if you love sunsets it is my belief that it is a much more powerful vision when you have spent the whole morning and day in the sun. It is different. Your back yard doesn't do it justice. And the night sky my word, stars... The only time I have ever seen a more beautiful night sky was when my friends and I went to look at a real "haunted" house one that you would have to travel through woods to get to. The sky that night was so dark and the stars were crazy. The outdoors is where I belong I have decided. I, or my soul was made for it.

Everyone has something that they can't live without, wether it be money, art, television, dancing. For me it is camping it is the one thing I need to be truly happy. I would give a loveless life for I think. Sure it would be a hard decision to make, however it would be worth it I think there is so much to nature many sides, and I find all of them charming.

I also seem to have a writers block when it comes to poetry. I have mainly been writing stories when I do sit down to write. It's not that I don't try for a poem, it's just that I feel a story must be told I guess... It is kind of bumming me out in a way. Hopefully my spark will come back. For now I will stick with what I have.

Fact of the day: I just had Taco Bell! Word to your mother!

-Belle

Just another week

So this last week has been one for the record books. Really it has been everywhere. And I have to much on my plate. STRESSSSSSS!

But I have been spending a lot of time with Jordan, and that has been wonderful I feel like we are best friends and really comfortable together. I like being able to just laugh and play fight with him. It makes all the serious things about relationships seem less important. And I also feel like he is going to be around for awhile, which also makes some of the stress go away. And he really wants to work on his relationship with my parents, and is also making me work on my relationship with them as well.

My parents have not been happy with me and within the last couple of days things seem to be taking a turn to the worst when it comes with them. I have never in my almost 19 years of living felt close enough to them to actually talk to them. Most days we spend out time in different sections of the house trying not to run in to each other, and on the occasions when we do we have a brief chit chat and we go about our days. It also doesn't help that they think that I am a crazed drug addict. I have just recently discovered this to, they have told the rest of my family that I have been strung out on pills and now my uncle doesn't like the fact I talk to my cousin who has been the closest person to me in my family since I was born.

I don't understand family anymore. at one point in time I could have talked to any of them now it seems that when I am at a family event they all keep me at and arms length away. And for the record I am NOT a strung out druggie. I have had so many things going on in the last couple of months I don't get any help from the family I am financially supporting myself I work over thirty hours a week and have to manage a store twenty four seven because no one else will do it and I have been there the longest, and I have school from 8-2.20, and it's senior year and I feel like I'm losing control over everything. And I feel like I am about to break. The only thing that is keeping me sane right now are the friends. And of course Jordan, they are my get aways from the world around me.

Random fact of the day!: Garden Gnomes make me smile!

Love and Happiness

-Chel

Yep that really happened

Happiness....

Hmm so today we are looking for an activity that has something to do with being happy... Our teacher told us to google it. So I started typing it in and then all of a sudden it was the happy meal site. I kid you not there is a happy meal website and I went got really close to playing a game and then my computer started making noise I jumped... So now that I have given up that I am back.

I feel as if I don't update enough I'm sorry. I am picking the people for my video and then we start it. I already have some people in mind for a couple of the parts so I'm excited about this!!!

So last night the scariest thing that could have ever happened to me did. I don't know why I have such a problem with this but my parents met my honey bunny... Yeah that was a tad bit awkward and I don't think that I would relive that moment of life, I mean I panicked and didn't know what to say I think I was more weirded out about it than he was. Haha That is really funny. In a way though it's nice that all is out in the open. I feel a lot better about it but I know that they don't like him. And that bad thing about that is that it is all my fault. I mean that like... I am more of a commitment phob than he is. And well now this just got brought up a level... Hmm and I am just now realizing that while writing this so now that's a lot to take in. wow okay calming down calming down.

Other than that life has been going pretty darn good. I can't complain! now I am off to read your blogs!

Love and Happiness
-Belle

Short Film!

Music was such a wonderful creation. I mean really it is!

So I have decided that I am going to be in the senior talent show. It is going to be nerve wracking... yes yes it is. However I feel like I would love nothing more than to feel that rush again. The idea is a simple one. I want to make a short film, because ever since I have this image pop into my head I find myself going back to it. As if it were a real memory. It tell the story of two people in a relationship and once someone pulls away the other draws closer but eventually it will all have to come to an end.

And I know I know I feel dumb because it is about a relationship and all but once I have everything finalized on it I will post it for your viewing pleasures! I am really excited about this. I think also I might and that is a big might but I think I may sing in it as well (the talent show, not the film) if I can get my vocals sounding good.... Ugh! I can't help but feel so good about this! ahoy!

Well there shall be more from me on another time place and date.

Love and Happiness
-Chel