I see Jordan walking up to me and he looks bad. He looked like he had been down on his luck, and he told me sorry everything was going to be different, he was just a screw up and he was crying. I leaned in to give him a hug and whispered in his ear "you know I will always pick you" and we leaned away from each other and started walking around I could feel that the group I was in was not happy about this addition however it was a moment that I wanted and will always want to have. As my dream went on the night was coming to an end and he kissed me and I kissed him back. I could hear voices that were saying things like "Jess is going to kill him when she finds out" "Go get Jess she needs help" all of a sudden Jordan and I were both aware of the chaos going on around us. I looked up at his face to try to see what he was thinking and there was just a blank shocked look. He kept stepping back looking like he was going to cry again and when I looked down at my chest I realized why everyone was freaking out. It had appeared to be a stab mark right in my heart and I couldn't stop the bleeding. But it didn't hurt. I just kept telling him that everything was all right that I was fine that it didn't matter, as I tried to clean myself up. Then I was starting to wake up at this point but I swear that he ended up walking away or something.
My interpretation: No matter what I will always pick him but in the end it will lead to my heart getting hurt.
Now the question is what to do. What do you do when you have no more fight left in you? Or when you feel like you love someone more than they love you... It doesn't even have to be love just a simple feeling of caring. Hmm... Austin is sounding like a great escape (the city not a person)
-Belle
Love grows in me like a tumor,
parasites bent on devouring its host.
I'm developing my sense of humor,
till I can laugh at my heart between your teeth,
till I can laugh at my face beneath your feet.
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